Mifarma

I envy the dead
Their peaceful endeavor
They are in a different world
A better one
I want to join them
I envy the light
They walked into
I envy the deceased
I envy their names
In obituaries
I envy the pain they leave behind them
I am jealous of all the lamentation
Of the loss they make people feel
I envy the emptiness they leave behind them
I want to join the dead
Perhaps this would be my solace
My gratitude
I will live my life to the fullest
So that my death will be tougher
Will lead to more sorrow
I want to leave this planet
And leave others in pain
Suffering, crying
I want them to experience my loss
As painful as possible
Just like I felt
When I lost myself
Somewhere in the middle of the road
When I fell from the roof
Right on myself
And crushed myself
To death
Death
Such a beautiful word
Everyone is afraid of it
Like they are afraid of peace
Like they are afraid of silence
I want it to unravel the deepest feelings
Within me
I want it to wrap me
To hold me in its arms
I want to leave people in pain
When they lose me
I want them to feel sorry
I want them to feel guilty
For what they have done to me
I want to write happier poems
I want him to cry
When I die
Because he killed me
On that day
I want him to write sad poems
I want him to look at his grandsons’ eyes
And see mine
I want him to envy the quiet place
I am in now
Where he can’t reach me
Even in death
I want him to lament
I envy him, for being able to kill a living soul
I wish I could do the same
I wish I could burn the ghost within him
I envy him
I envy the dead ©️

My name is Mifarma
I am locked inside the body
Of the woman with the red hair
She put me there
I am trying to break free
To walk alone
To have my own body and my own soul
My name is Mifarma
I was created just like any baby is
I was created when he was lying on top of her
The woman with the red hair
But instead of appearing as new human
I was left inside her
I don’t like her
I don’t want to be her
I am sick of seeing her organs
Her tunnels
Her nutrition
I want to see what she sees
I want to walk the world
On my own
My name is Mifarma
I told everybody
That I am a vile person
I am worse than this rambunctious, zany woman, with the red hair
I am violence
I am rape
My name is Mifarma
I want to go out into the world
And take someone’s life
Maybe a man, maybe a child
I want to prove
That I am vile
I will trick her -
She will get arrested for a crime that I committed
And when she will blame me
I can always say
That she’s insane
He made her this way
I am just locked inside her
I am violence
I am rape
I hate her
The woman with the red hair